Adoption is like a Half Marathon

It occurred to me the other day on a long run that our adoption process has been like a half marathon.  (I know another epiphany while running, but long runs give you lots of opportunity to think)=) So, here is why.  When you start a half marathon you don't know where the course is going to take you.  Last week when we were running we knew there would be a finish line but we had no idea what would be in between the start and the finish. (and Matt thanks God for that, because he said if had known how hilly it was, he would not have run it) Your goal while in the midst of it is to just keep running.  You will never get to the the finish if you stop. 

 So, here is my grand analogy...when we started this adoption process we knew there would be a start and a finish.  There have been many times in this process that we have considered quitting, often because we are unsure of what God really wants for our lives.  And we are still in the process of wondering. But like that Half, I know there will be a finish line.  Our goal was to have a family...so we carry on and move toward the goal.  But, unlike last weeks half though, this is not the pace that I would choose to get there, which maybe my bigger struggle. But I will save that topic for another post.

To update you on where we are....we are still in the race and unsure if we are close to the finish.  We are in the process of updated our home study once again.  Which means, another round of electronic fingerprints and background checks.  So, as you think of us in the future pray that we have a clear direction of where God is taking us and that we will have the strength to finish this race.

Possible Next Chapter

Hmm...words are eluding me this morning.  I had every intention of being my usually creative self, =), but I think you will have to settle for straight forward.  There is alot on my mind right now so I am just going to jump in. 

Matt and I are prayerfully considering adopting a foster child or children.  We have not had much success on the baby front and I have felt like God has laid these children on my heart lately.  I want to be up front with all of you, we do not want to be foster parents.  I don't think my heart could take that.  We are only looking at children whose parents have relinquished their rights. 

Matt and I had to travel to Indy this past Saturday and while there I had a wonderful and encouraging conversation with my sister-in-law, LeAnn.  She helped me to see many positives in adopting older children or possible siblings.  I love her and how she sees the good in everything! But that conversation spurred a much needed conversation between Matt and I.  I will admit that the conversation about the adoption had broken down a bit.  But after an emotional conversation we got to the root of the problem, frustration.  And now that we know it is there and could possible hold us back from God's plans, we know how to fight it.

So, please pray with us that the Lord will help us to get past any concerns that we might have, the grieving we may feel in not getting a baby, and to know what direction God truly wants us to walk in.  (I really wish His voice was a little louder in our ears, but we are learning to be quiet and listen.) 

I want to close by thanking those who have been praying for us and encouraging us, as we walk this path.  You will never know how much it has helped us, we love you all!

My Prayer "Lord, help me be like a weed..."

I am sure the title of this post makes most of you curious, so let me explain.

This morning while I was running I noticed something...weeds.  In this summer of heat, humidity and no rain the only thing growing are weeds.  And even though they are weeds some produce the most beautiful flowers.  They are the brilliant shades of pink and purple.  Their stems and leaves also hold the color that has been alluding us these days...green.  I ran and wondered about weeds.  Then I prayed a simple prayer, "Lord, help me to be like a weed."

And here is why.  In our eyes, there is nothing that the earth is giving them right now to support life.  It is hot, dry and just plain miserable, but in all our yards alive and well, weeds.  Think how strong and resourceful they must be.  They are getting nutrients when everything else is dying.  I want to be like that.  I want to be walking through this dry and desolate time and still be thriving.

Matt and I feel like we are walking a path that is dry and desolate.  We are sucking up every drop of nutrients we can find for our souls and some days still feel malnourished.  So, "Lord, help me to be like a weed."  In this season of waiting and not knowing what God has for us, my prayer is that we can be strong and resourceful enough to still flourish.  If God can create a weed with all it's strength and resourcefulness, then think how strong and resourceful I must be?!  Wow! 

So today and in the days to come, "Lord, help me to be like a weed."

Still waiting....

So...it is a few months short of a year since I have blogged.  I apologize to those who are wondering what is going on and are unsure of how to approach the topic with us.  We are still waiting.  A perpetual cycle of waiting.  We are waiting for an adoption, we are waiting for our condo to sell.  Our lives seem to be summed up in that one word.  So, as we wait, we are wondering what God truely has in store for us.  We are praying and seeking His guidance as we go into our third year of this adoption process.  We renewed our home study last October and are trying to decide what we will do this October.  We would love to have your prayers as we try to have decernment, in the decision to renew or to.........we don't know. 

This maybe the reason I have not blogged.  I am not sure what to say to you all about this process, the hope we seemed to have at the beginning is changing.  Not that we don't have hope that God has a plan for us.  We know that He does, we are just having trouble finding it, in the midst of our desires.

I am trying to find a way to end this positively, so that it does not seem so "Debbie Downerish".  And if you know me at all, you know that I do try to see the upside to most things.  So, it does drive me a little crazy right now to not be able to see positive in this situation.  So, I guess we need you all to pray that God will show us what He has for us, to have peace with whatever that is and see the good in it.

Thanks for the prayers

I wanted to thank everyone for praying for my dad.  Your prayers for my dad helped tremendously.  I am unsure of when in the last two weeks that this happended, but I do know that within the last two weeks he stopped running from God's love.  And I can safely say that he, today, is resting in our Savior's arms.  He is free from cancer and pain and he is home.

I would ask that you continue to pray for me and my siblings, as we go through an unusally time of morning.  We did not get to know a man that loved and lived a life dedicated to God, but we will.

Isaiah 35:10


"and the ransomed of the Lord will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away."

Prayer Concern

I know this blog is used for updates on our adoption, but I received some news yesterday that I feel requires lots of prayer.  I found out that my biological father's cancer has spread to his brain and he maybe gone before the end of the year.  Now, I am still processing through how I feel about this because I have never had a relationship with him or even known him much as a man.  But I do know that he has spent most, if not all of his adult life, running from God's unconditional love for him and the plans that our heavenly father has had for him.  And that makes me sad.  So, I am asking that you pray with me that he would stop running and that he and his wife would feel that love right now more then they ever have before and to be able to rest in the knowledge that God is with them.

Moving Forward

Last week I spoke to our new Social Worker from Luthern Social Services.  We have set up a meeting with her for August 22nd in the evening.  Just wanted to let you know that the process is once again moving forward.  It will be after this meeting that our profile will once again be shown.  It has been on hold since March, so this feels like a step in the right direction.
Again, Matt and I really appreciate the love, prayers and support we have received from all of you.  We hope and pray that we are on the finally stretch.
Many blessings!